Obama should resign and run for president in Iran

The tension is building in Iran as disappointed voters take to the streets protesting rigged elections. The international community is tossing out the usual front line adjectives --'Concerned', 'Troubled', 'Dismayed.' And President Obama has hinted that the elections were probably unfair and that the Iranian people deserve better leadership.

It is interesting he should say that, because it is at this crucial juncture that President Obama is availed a unique opportunity to define his place in history as the one guy who really opened up the Middle East. It would be like Nixon opening up China on a grander and more profitable scale.

Forget the deep bows to Saudi Royalty, direct addresses on Al Jazeera and other such hollow gestures. There is really only one thing Obama can do: Resign, move to Iran and begin his run for the next presidential race. With his stellar approval rating world wide there is no way he could lose. He is a sandal-in for the job.

My Plan

Now, if I was asked to run his campaign, the first thing I would do is polish up his name. "Obama" could likely hurt his chances with Islamic voters so I say drop it and go with 'Barack Hussein.' In fact, it may be wise to add another "r" to his first name and call himself "Barrack." This could score him a slice of the more militant wing in Iran housed in the madras learning to kill Jews.

I realize a lot of them are under 18-years-old, but those terrorist trainee guys get to vote don't they? Kinda like American servicemen can drink before they are 21? Help me out if you know otherwise. I don't want to be chasing a phantom demographic.

My guess is their vote counts twice or how the hell could Ahmadinejad have won again? Perhaps it is similar to the tactics of Obama's predecessors in Chicago who once registered dead voters --Ahmadinejad must have registered underage, soon to be dead at their own hands voters. I am only speculating.

So, once we lock down the name situation, the second thing I would do is bring Sarah Palin on board as our ad spokeswoman. Come to think of it, we might not even need her at all, we could just run the following clip and lock the extremist endorsement right off:

The Bill Ayers connection was damaging in the U.S. election, but would sweep the right wing voters in Iran and that is really who I would be aiming the big guns at. The people in the street are already Barack Hussein fans, no sense in wasting future petro-dollars on making an appeal to them.

My third and final move would defy all common sense in an American election. As is common practice here, most candidates ignore what are known as the "flyover states." Those states in middle America that you fly over to get to more populated states with more electoral votes. Well, here is where I would buck the system.

Who is Iran's flyover state? Israel. Who are the most influential in the world media? The Jews. Are you seeing the connection? I would schedule several campaign stops in the Palestinian territory and while there I would have him bash Israel. I mean really bash. As former U.S. President, Mr. Hussein, has seen the classified reports on Israel. Why not give up a few juicy nuggets for the election? Really scare the electorate and the rest of the Middle East while he's at it.

And think about how well a Hussein candidacy would be received in America. Republicans would be pleased that they could say "I told you so," and Democrats would have a candidate that finally told the truth that yes, it really is all about oil.

In fact, that is where my plan comes to fruition. Once Barack Hussein is president, he opens up the oil fields to American companies, patches up things with the Israelis and then invades Saudi Arabia to clean out those pesky Wahabbis. Afterwards, he could patch things up with the Israelis and build a lasting peace.

Am I the only one that sees the logic in this?

Oh, there is one caveat: the Vice President, the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate would all have to die in a mysterious plane crash on the day Barrack Hussein resigns, so that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton would automatically go into the Oval Office. I couldn't stomach Biden. I am not willing to send Hussein and his 'message of hope' to Iran and end up with the 'message of dope' back at home.