I love Korea, because Korea loves me

From this blog post on I will never again have a foul word for Korea. How could I when I sit at the cultural apex of what could possibly be the most loving place on earth? A country that has welcomed my fellow foreigners and I with wide open arms.

What other country would have the grand vision to promote my presence by allowing the media to blatantly inflate stories of otherwise little merit? Allowing stories of "degrading" things done by foreigners that happen far more often in the local community? I mean wow, to distort and inflate facts just to give us foreigners the added coverage over the locals? How thoughtful!

And what other government would help with my uncontrollable vacation spending by allowing banks to prevent me from using my ATM card in other countries solely because of my ethnicity? The thoughtful intentions for my well being just keep coming. My beloved KB bank is on the New York Stock exchange and still they ignore international norms and show outright racism to help me with my spending problems abroad. I don't know about you, but where I come from that is what my folks call "tough love." And man, sometimes I need it.

And where else can you find a government that would allow an actual group whose stated public intention is to spend their days and nights rooting out bad foreigners from us good ones? How many advanced economies can you name that still condone witch hunts? And what about those special groups who take time out of their busy schedule to place signs too!


And do tell me, where can I be stereotyped daily in the media as a sexual predator and a threat to Korean society while the top court in the land allows a 46-year-old man to have sex with a 16-year-old runaway who sought shelter in his home? This really keeps me on my toes, in case my mind should wander in to deviance.

I really can't say enough about the media and how they elevate foreigners to rock star status. When they write about how we "debase Korean women" in a country where prostitution accounts for 1.4% of the GDP and where 20% of Korean men in their 20's pay for a good time and average of 4 times a month? For the Korean media to ignore the homegrown problems and intentionally focus on foreigners is an act of attentive kindness not often seen.

And I really should further mention the unbiased journalism from sources such as the Korea Herald, the Chosun Ilbo and the Korea Times? Doesn't it give you a warm feeling when they write you stories about Korea and the reporter actually uses the word "We" when referring to Koreans?

Also, I am having trouble thinking of a place that would show such insensitivity by using Hitler and the Nazi's to pitch a product. Or make a joke of 9/11 to sell newspapers. I mean, heck, if you can't laugh at that kind of stuff then you are taking life way to seriously, man.

And where else can I get a job teaching an entire semester from a book that I wrote (and received no compensation for) record test scores and marks on class participation only to have 100% of my grade based on whether students complete a handout on idioms that had nothing to do with my class at all? One that just asks that they copy sentences from one line to another. My dreams of being paid as an entertainer have finally come to fruition here and that is just, well, awesome.

I could go on, but suffice it to say that I am truly blessed to be in a country that places so much emphasis and careful concern for my existence here. Sure, most Koreans are nice and treat me well, but do they really care as much as those mentioned above? Or are they just being like those tricky Japanese and just pretending by being polite?

My blog will now focus its energy on what is happening abroad --where the real problems need addressing. If you have added me to your blog feed as a "Korean" blog I will understand my removal.

Well, I didn't see that one coming

I haven't written for a week, needed a little break from the grind. But the surprise resignation of Sarah Palin was too good to resist. The LA times is now reporting that the rumors that she is under investigation by the FBI are just that --only rumors.

But the persistent talk of her being an idiot, well, those are spot on: Just have a gander at her fine command of the English language in this statement she made on Facebook:

“I am now looking ahead and how we can advance this country together with our values of less government intervention, greater energy independence, stronger national security, and much-needed fiscal restraint. I hope you will join me. Now is the time to rebuild and help our nation achieve greatness!”

And she then goes with her tried and true attacks on that damned liberal media:

“How sad that Washington and the media will never understand; it’s about country. And though it's honorable for countless others to leave their positions for a higher calling and without finishing a term, of course we know by now, for some reason a different standard applies for the decisions I make.”

Higher calling? She just didn't like being a lame duck --well sorry, that is part of the job. You can't just quit when your political capital takes a hit due to the fact that you can't run again. What a bunch of chicken poop. This woman has shown time and time again that she is divisive, she has no class, no common sense, and a complete lack of connection with reality.

I think she could very well be our next president!

And just to answer her charge that only the liberal media is biased for pointing out the fact that she is an idiot, Republican presidential adviser Karl Rove apparently thinks she is too: "It is not clear what her strategy here is by exiting the governorship 2½ years through the term and putting herself on the national stage that she may not yet be prepared to operate in."

She will never be prepared.

The Chinese take on the death of Michael J.

Always interesting to get the Chinese netizen's take on the news. Here are some comments translated from forums about the passing of that Michael Jackson guy. Props to chinaSMACK once again.

No mercy.

新浪福建厦门网友:

This world is again less one abnormal/perverted/deviant piece of trash! Excellent, tonight I will drink!

新浪湖南网友:

Michael is just a singer, but to some ignorant fans he is like their parents. Michael’s death makes them act as if they have lost their parents. They wish he could bring them to another world, because they themselves are soulless people who do not serve much of a purpose living anyway. They do not have parents, no loved ones and friends, no red flowers, no green leaves, no four seasons, no motherland, only Michael.

新浪日本网友:

How could there be people who worship such a deviant?
Just that neither human nor monster picture of him is enough to scare people.
As for his singing, I didn’t think he excelled in it either…

新浪四川成都网友:

He did not excel in singing? A single album sold 130 million copies. Keep in mind that Hong Kong and Taiwanese singers hold celebrations just for selling 500,000 copies. When you start thinking the entire world has a problem, it means you have a problem.
While I am at it, let me also say, what “neither human nor monster” face? Go investigate why he had plastic surgery. You first go see what black people who have Vitiligo are like before coming back to express your opinion. You can be retarded, but why do you have to show off your retardation everywhere.

新浪北京网友:

Those people insulting MJ, do you know what makes MJ outstanding? Because no matter what anyone says about any of his business, when it comes to his music, you cannot say anything. For a music king, that is enough.

新浪上海网友:

Pathetic countrymen, it is just a single foreign entertainment star. At most, it is regrettable, but is this worth all of you being so miserable? Truly making a fuss over nothing.

新浪上海网友:

A single foreign entertainment star? Please find another “single” [star] that can be compared to him. Those who do not have memories of MJ do not reply. “Miserable” we are not, but our hearts definitely are very upset, because what has been lost is not just a person, but also our wonderful memories.

新浪福建网友手机用户:

He was a music genius…but when he betrayed his own skin color and bleached his skin white, when he started hating his own race and changed his face so much that he no longer looked like himself, he became a monster/freak…Were it not for this, I believe he would have had a better life.

新浪浙江网友:

After seeing irrefutable information, my eyes became moist. What is wrong with me, I am already over 30-years-old and very rarely does this happen [cry].

新浪辽宁网友手机用户:

MJ, you are our god!

新浪福建网友:

The first singer that I became a fan of was Michael Jackson. His dancing, his voice, his songs, I paid attention to closely. His departure is a huge grief for his fans. The poor July worldwide concert tour is no more. I am so sad!!!

新浪广东深圳网友:

Heaven waits for you to continue making legends. Go amaze God! MJ the Great!

新浪广东网友:

This half-man half-demon monster has ultimately left the human world. When is it time for that half-man half-woman Li Yuchun [aka Chris Lee, a pop artist famous for being like a boy]?!

Mortimer Hayden Smyth

Michael helps me remember

Love him or hate him, there is no denying, between his solo material and his run with the Jackson 5, the guy was involved in a lot of great tunes.

I have been going through his play list and at times I am greatly moved by the memories --his songs are like place markers for different points throughout my life.

For all the times I made fun of him over the years since the late 80's, I am a bit shocked that I feel so sad at his passing.

My favorite MJ songs:

OK, so maybe that wasn't the best idea

When you get to be my age (late-twenties, early thirties, maybe 40) you sometimes buy into the delusion that you have seen everything. How wrong I was. Case in point: South Carolina's Republican governor Mark Sanford literally gone missing for several days and then suddenly turning up with one helluva a story that couldn't have been better scripted for a movie.

A movie that you would leave at the end shaking your head saying, "Nah, that could never happen. A sitting governor, married with kids, up and secretly flies to Argentina for an affair? Come on. Nobody is that stupid."

Game over~

Sarkozy and the full body slam

I was in Thailand about this time last year. Many Arabs were there on their vacation as well and it was the first time I had a chance to directly mix with Middle Easterners outside of their American version.

I hated it.

Sure, the men I talked to were nice, very cordial and festive. Even the bus load of Iranians (who are not actually Arabs, but Persians) in front of my hotel telling me how much they loved America and filling my hands with pistachio nuts were cool. Men are men, anywhere. Usually driven by the same things --money, sports and sex. No surprise there.

What I hated about having all those Arabs around me was the women wearing burqas --the black garment that covers them from head to toe with a little slit cut out for their eyes.

Sure I had seen it before on TV, but to witness it in person was completely unsettling. And watching the men with them wearing shorts, sandals and tank tops stirred a bit of anger. I found myself wanting to tackle the men and unbundle the burqas.

So when the French president Nicolas Sarkozy spoke out against the burqa in a speech to the French Parliament yesterday, I completely sympathized when he said that while "the Muslim religion must be respected like other religions, the burqa is not welcome in France.”

“I want to say solemnly that (the burqa) will not be welcome on our territory...The issue of the burqa is not a religious issue; it is a question of freedom and of women’s dignity...The burqa is not a religious sign; it is a sign of the subjugation, of the submission of women.”

The talk of freedom and all that is perfectly legitimate but for me the issue is very simple --people walking around in the streets completely covered in black fabric freaks me out. I wouldn't want it in my neighborhood either.

And spare me the comments about respecting religion.